Shawn D. King

Despite all the gloomy news–unemployment, foreclosures, bankrupt cities and states–making the front pages of various publications, things must not be too bad. Despite the fact that more people have been out of work for longer periods of time than at anytime since the Great Depression, perhaps the Bush/Obama cheer-leading is on to something.

I–quite seriously–do not understand modern American business.

After leaving active-duty in June of 2007, I was unemployed until Aug 2009 (okay, I had a temp job during the summer of ’09; however, that was underemployment). Now that I’ve been employed for a few months, I’ve managed to stuff away a few dollars in the sock drawer. Partly an emergency fund (Tami says I act like I lived through the Depression), and partly as a “radio fund” with which to buy Amateur radio equipment.

Since I’d been putting aside a small chunk of my paycheck, I had managed to save enough to make some needed acquisitions of radio stuff. Previously, I had purchased a new antenna and mount which we installed on Tami’s truck. Because of the unique manufacturing of my Jeep hood, the same style “lip” antenna mounts would not work for me.

So I devised a configuration plan to install an antenna on the Jeep. I decided to use a CB antenna mount, which was designed to fit under the lip of the Jeep hood, and acquire the needed coax cable assembly and antenna separately. Once I had decided on the parts, I started looking for online retail vendors to supply what I needed. That’s when the fun began.

I had no idea that retailers–whom I assumed would be glad for business–could be so damn hard-headed: “We only take credit cards!”, “We only accept PayPal”, “We don’t accept money orders!”, and my personal favorite “You must create an account!” O.o

The corollary to this gripe is that when I did find a retailer who would accept money orders, they didn’t have the produces I needed. Lovely.

A potential customer is waving $200 in cold, hard CASH under their nose, and all they can do is make excuses as to why they can’t take it. I must have been the only one in recession for the last two years.

All I wanted to do was select my items, select my shipping options, be presented with an invoice and total bill, acquire a postal money order, mail them to the retailer, and have my product(s) shipped. Apparently that’s a violation of some obscure retailing law.

After wasting my time reading various terms-and-conditions on a number of sites, I was able to find both the products I needed at retail establishments which accepted money orders. Still, it was an unnecessary hassle which I absolutely do not understand.

Ironically, now that I’ve found retailers who will accept money orders and stock the products I need, I’m not likely to try other alternatives.

The only thing I can think is that these people are somehow immune from our current Great Recession.

With the holiday season fast approaching, and “Christmas creep” pushing decorative items into September, I want to take a few moments to post my observations on the whole shopping environment and offer a few suggestions to retailers who wish to stand out from the crowd. Please note that I’m not talking about the merchandise on the racks. I’m referring to the shopping experience.

Just as this article from Reuters points out, there is a disconnect between why employees stay on a job and why employers think employees stay on a job. Likewise, my experience suggests there is a vast difference between what retailers THINK customers want and what shoppers ACTUALLY want.

First, have staff available to direct customers to desired merchandise. Not just at the entrance (although that is important), but throughout the store. Key personnel should have small, hand-held radios with which to communicate, and request assistance from, other key floor personnel and the manager on-duty. The whole “let me go find somebody, I’ll be right back” is a bad idea: What if your potential customer wanders off or “gives up”? Maintain customer engagement.

Second, provide a comfortable place for your customers to sit. I have never understood why I have to go to lawn & garden or the furniture section in order to rest my feet. If I were a manager, I would insist that customers should be able to see a bench, seat, couch, etc. at any point from the store. I cannot recall how many times I have left a retail establishment simply because I was tired–and the only place to sit was in the truck in the parking lot. Take a lesson from Barnes & Noble: Keep people in the store.

Next, stock quality merchandise. A liberal return policy is acceptable in some circumstances (such as unwanted gifts); however, returns are a major headache: Find the receipt, find the original box, try to get the darn thing back into the box, fight traffic driving back to the store, stand in line (while listening to screaming children), have the return associate try to upsell something else, and if the stars are properly aligned, actually complete a successful return. A very negative customer experience. Just don’t sell the junk in the first place.

Finally, quit with the upselling and data harvesting. If I show up asking for batteries, don’t try to sell me a new computer. When I am ready to pay for said batteries, don’t ask for my life’s history or contact info. One would think that in this economy, anybody in retail would be grateful to “take the money and run.”

Well, just my thoughts. Perhaps some manager will actually take my lofty and insane ideas to heart. If so, please drop me a line. I’d look forward to visiting your establishment.